Leopard Spots

Sorting out all the crazies, er, people, I meant people...

I've been meaning to do this post for awhile now. When I first started this blog I only talked about the little leopards and I. But as time has passed the cast of characters has been growing. I try to give them nicknames and keep on going, but even I'm getting confused. So I am going to introduce you to all the crazies that make appearances in Leopard Spots. It's a wonder they haven't thrown me in the looney bin yet. 

Momma Mac: Hey that's me! The leader of the pack, single mom for almost two years now. Like I tell people...that means I'm being awesome 24 hours a day on no sleep. In reality, I'm just hanging on to the edge of sanity, pretending I know what I'm doing and trying to keep the little leopards in line. I work full time as a retail manager while trying to stay on top of the blogging and I'm always trying to capture the moments of our lives on one of my six cameras! Thank goodness Cub got a camera for Christmas, now there is someone to take photos of me.

Cub: My oldest. This one is in kindergarten at a dual immersion school. She told me once. "Mom, I know more English than you. That's why I'm learning Spanish. I know more Spanish than you and that means I'm smarter than you." Classic Cub right there. Classic. I'm sure she thinks she knows more English than me because half the stuff that comes out of her mouth leaves me speechless. She's an articulate one. When not in school, she hangs with friends, dances, is learning how to skate and bosses her little sister around. She puts herself to bed every evening if I don't get her there by eight and she's a morning person. I am not. She's far more sensible than I am. True story.

Kitten: Thankfully one of my children has the good sense to be crazy like me. Kitten is always going, using her golden curls as her claim to fame and getting everything she wants. She's hanging with her momma for one last year before she is thrown into the crazy world of preschool. She's not a morning person. Is obsessed with all movies. She runs around like she's training for a marathon, enjoys making kitten sounds, dressing up like a princess, going to Target, attending dolphin shows at the zoo and being all around adorable. I made her promise me not to turn three this year, but she insists on doing this regardless. That child is a heartbreaker. 

Grams: Look at that photo right there. Willingly hanging out on an airplane with the little leopards. I suppose the crazy has to come from somewhere! She's a teacher by day and is overly generous in her support of this single momma. When she doesn't have the little leopards under her charge she often steals them right out from under me. The little leopards love her. They each have her wrapped around their little fingers and I suppose that's allowed. Except I don't remember unlimited access to candy and whip cream when I was a child :-)

Twin Bro: So that's my twin. He's not crazy. At all. Can often be caught rolling his eyes at me and laughing uncomfortably at leopard shenanigans. Willingly does leopard wrangling if asked. He and I are complete opposites, I'm not actually sure how we are related come to think of it...

...but he rocks all the same. 

Big Brother/Uncle Flying Monkey: He's new to town. We're long lost. True story. He found me on Myspace after 24 years this past July. Completely explaining why I am the way I am. We talk/text/email almost daily, he survived a weekend in Minnesota at the end of October and for some weird reason will not come visit during the winter. Proving he's a wimp. The leopards love him cause he's as crazy as I am. Oh, and he lives in California, their favorite place in the world. When he's not basking in the warmth of his home, he spoils his nieces and offers an ear to talk to when the going gets tough. Keep an eye out on the airport, Kitten is always threatening to visit!

Auntie A and Uncle T: Not related in real life. But my dearest and closest friend is Auntie A. She watches the leopards when I'm at work. She's mean like me. I love her and so do the leopards. Uncle T didn't bargain that when he married Auntie A, he was vowing to put up with both her and me till death do he part. He does it with amazing humor and awesomeness. He's an Ikea furniture assembly wizard and is bracing himself for my last Ikea project after Kitten is potty trained. They're awesome friends who are always there to get me through my crazy life.

Cousin K: Yeah, I realize I owe you a blog post on her. In lieu of a sister I have her and that's far better. I don't get to see her that often because she's away at college and both of our lives our equally hectic. She Kitten's godmother and Cub's favorite. Her house has a beach in the backyard and I'm sure that's a large part of her appeal. I'm pretty sure I'm just kidding...I swear! 

There you have it, my little leopard inner circle. There are more people that may be mentioned here and there (of course) but these are the ones that can never seem to get enough of this leopard family. But then again, who doesn't want to hang out with this craziness all the time?!?

Ode to Diapers or "I Hate Diapers!"

I'm a blogger. I check my blog stats. All of us cool bloggers do...it's how we watch the lurkers (cue creepy music now...)

So the other day I saw that a google.com search led some fantabulous reader over to my sight (ahhh, that's so sweet). I clicked the link and what did my dear humble reader type into google?

"i hate diapers"

The found my pirate undies post.

Since most of the other links included in the results were for information regarding cloth diapers, I assume that is what they were looking for. But let's face it. No matter what you put on your child's butt. It ain't gonna make what is coming out any prettier or better smelling. 

I'm just saying.

I have no views either way about either. I simply used disposables because it was easier for me at the time. Plus, honestly, I just didn't want to have to clean or deal with diapers any more than I had to. So my hat is totally off to you green mommas that do the cloth diapering. 

Way cool.

So in honor of my high google ranking and the fact that Kitten has peed on the potty twice in the past week. I'm so happy! I thought I would take a look back at my life with diapers and nothing has changed.

I HATE DIAPERS!!!!

I remember when I was first pregnant with my dearest little Cub, how I looked forward to being the mommy of an adorable little leopard.

And the diapers, they were SO TINY!!! Surely something this small, that fit into something that small. It couldn't be dangerous at all. 

I was wrong.

Umm...no one told me about the meconium...

Gross.

I've dealt with gross.

That was not cool.

Diapers and baby butts and poo do not go together.

Just saying. 

Some of the best advice that I got when I was pregnant was, "Poop flies."

I didn't know what that meant.

Until I say poop fly.

And so it was with two children and what will be a solid six years of butt changes and wipes and rash cream and stinkiness and leakage and overall grossness.

I HATE DIAPERS!!!

And I will not be sad to see them go. 

So goodbye diapers, and the stinky first one of the morning. And the little kid that takes the diaper off in the middle of the night. Thanks for that Kitten.

And goodbye diapers and the thought that my sweet little leopard could not have produced something that foul smelling. Surely, something must have crawled into her diaper and died.

But nothing has ever died inside my children's diapers.

Except for my will to smell.

And goodbye diapers, every once in awhile I think about all the diapers that have wound up on my children's booty-butts and am mildly terrified as to what I have personally done to ruin the environment. It's why I use reusable grocery bags...that and the air of superiority I get. 

Oh, back to hating diapers. 

Goodbye diapers, surely you will not be missed. Not even your cute little designs and the way we pretty them up to give to new parents. Last I checked, diaper cakes were not edible. I am not cool with inedible diaper cakes!

Sorry, diapers. I don't like spending oodles of money every month on you. Nor do I like spending the money on wipes or butt cream or anything.

So bye diapers. Hopefully, I will never see you again!!!

I HATE DIAPERS!!!!

Twittermoms

Hello all! 

I have found a fantabulous new social networking website!!! I know, I know! With Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and my blogging...I am sure you were all worried about me having an outlet!!! 

It is this new community (started at the beginning of September) for moms that Tweet! Hey, that's me! 

And for once in my life I am in on something cool from the very beginning. 

It is already a really vibrant community and in only the couple days that I have been online there I have met lots of people and already have made some online and twittering friends!

So if you're a mom that tweets definitely head on over and join in the fun! 

View my page on twitter moms