I'm a blogger. I check my blog stats. All of us cool bloggers do...it's how we watch the lurkers (cue creepy music now...)
So the other day I saw that a google.com search led some fantabulous reader over to my sight (ahhh, that's so sweet). I clicked the link and what did my dear humble reader type into google?
"i hate diapers"
The found my pirate undies
post.Since most of the other links included in the results were for information regarding cloth diapers, I assume that is what they were looking for. But let's face it. No matter what you put on your child's butt. It ain't gonna make what is coming out any prettier or better smelling.
I'm just saying.
I have no views either way about either. I simply used disposables because it was easier for me at the time. Plus, honestly, I just didn't want to have to clean or deal with diapers any more than I had to. So my hat is totally off to you green mommas that do the cloth diapering.
Way cool.
So in honor of my high google ranking and the fact that Kitten has peed on the potty twice in the past week. I'm so happy! I thought I would take a look back at my life with diapers and nothing has changed.
I HATE DIAPERS!!!!
I remember when I was first pregnant with my dearest little Cub, how I looked forward to being the mommy of an adorable little leopard.
And the diapers, they were SO TINY!!! Surely something this small, that fit into something that small. It couldn't be dangerous at all.
I was wrong.
Umm...no one told me about the meconium...
Gross.
I've dealt with gross.
That was not cool.
Diapers and baby butts and poo do not go together.
Just saying.
Some of the best advice that I got when I was pregnant was, "Poop flies."
I didn't know what that meant.
Until I say poop fly.
And so it was with two children and what will be a solid six years of butt changes and wipes and rash cream and stinkiness and leakage and overall grossness.
I HATE DIAPERS!!!
And I will not be sad to see them go.
So goodbye diapers, and the stinky first one of the morning. And the little kid that takes the diaper off in the middle of the night. Thanks for that Kitten.
And goodbye diapers and the thought that my sweet little leopard could not have produced something that foul smelling. Surely, something must have crawled into her diaper and died.
But nothing has ever died inside my children's diapers.
Except for my will to smell.
And goodbye diapers, every once in awhile I think about all the diapers that have wound up on my children's booty-butts and am mildly terrified as to what I have personally done to ruin the environment. It's why I use reusable grocery bags...that and the air of superiority I get.
Oh, back to hating diapers.
Goodbye diapers, surely you will not be missed. Not even your cute little designs and the way we pretty them up to give to new parents. Last I checked, diaper cakes were not edible. I am not cool with inedible diaper cakes!
Sorry, diapers. I don't like spending oodles of money every month on you. Nor do I like spending the money on wipes or butt cream or anything.
So bye diapers. Hopefully, I will never see you again!!!
I HATE DIAPERS!!!!